First the news.....

I guess what got me to write this blog, was that I thought I had forgiven those that had hurt me in the past, but every year around this time, Lukas's birthday(my middle child); the hurt and anger resurface. The resentment lingers. I associate Lukas's birthday with mostly joy, especially because he is such a kind and caring young man that has brightened my life for almost 18 years! There is also some bittersweet emotions, that will probably never die.

When I found out I was pregnant with Lukas, it confirmed what I already knew in my heart. I went to have the standard blood test at the doctors office, because two home pregnancy tests had failed to show that pretty pink plus line. I already had two beautiful boys, Sean and Jordan, so I knew the familiar symptoms, however they just seemed so exaggerated. So...the doctor said "yes you are pregnant, but your hormone levels are awfully high for only being 5 or 6 weeks, are you sure of your cycle dates?" Of course I was sure, but I went home happy to share the news.....

The following month, my mom and I went to have a scheduled ultrasound, it was ironic that this day was April 1--April fools! As the technician rolled that cold jelly across my stomach and an image popped up on screen, he asked me if I had a history of twins in my family, I answered no, even though I had twins on both of my parents families. I assumed it was just a standard questions until he replied, " well, um, you do now!" What?? My mom and I both laughed, and then we saw 2 beautiful heart beats on the screen! Wow... this would be fun news sharing with Jim on April fools day! I called him on the drive home, with picture in hand as proof, and funny but he didn't believe me! Really.....I would never pull that kind of stunt on my hard working husband who already had two very active little boys. This was going to be fun..................